Look
into the face of another, and what do you see?
Ongoing
research in neuroscience continues to open our eyes to a deep new understanding of how we
develop our capacity to become human beings. It all starts with a gaze. It
begins with what we see as an infant entering the world, blessed with a
welcoming, life-sustaining environment. It is initiated at birth with our first
look into our mother’s eyes. It is then reinforced with the gaze of our father,
our grandparents, and others to whom we learn to return that gaze. No word is spoken, and we
carry no memory of that time. But before language, before any conscious memory, there is
this seeing into the eyes of the other—and of being seen by the eyes of the other. It is a mutual beholding of the other’s sacred being,
of knowing that we are loved. I witness this myself every time I hold my six-month-old grandson:
smile to smile, breath to breath, voice to voice, heartbeats in sync with a
deep realization that some sort of energy flows freely between us...and then
from us to others.
What
energy would this be? In his most recent book, The Divine Dance, Fr. Richard Rohr writes of the Trinity being seen
as the energy between the three “persons” rather than just the “persons”
themselves. In other words, we are invited to look at the Trinity using the
early Christian image of a circle dance—an unending flow of giving and
receiving between Father, Son, and Spirit—as being the pattern of reality. Rohr
writes, "God is not only a dancer, but the dance itself—reminding the
world of our interdependence and our inherent union with what is. The Trinity
teaches us how to live in creative collaboration, valuing and honoring our
differences while also serving each other with humility and compassion."
The power of this Trinitarian Flow is rooted in its mutuality and inclusion of
all people. God freely gives this love to all of us, asking only that we pass
it on to others.
I
think this is why, when Jesus was looking to sum up the Law of Moses and the
teaching of the prophets, his directive of how to love was to "do to
others as you would have them do to you" (Lk 6:31). Thus it would seem
love involves mutual mirroring of the Divine gaze—allowing Divine energy to
flow. That there is this form of give and take—I do to you and you do to me—with
no expectation of reward or gain. Simply a command to share the gaze of God, to
share God's love.
Soon
we will celebrate Christmas—the birth of Jesus—God fully human and fully
divine. The Word became flesh, and thus
the face of God is seen in Jesus. It is a time to remember that we truly are
created in God’s “image and likeness,” much more than we ever imagined. Before we
begin this new way of seeing another, we might start by looking into a mirror.
What we see is the image of who we are. For some of us, this may expose an
increase in wrinkles or perhaps lines of anxiety, or maybe the curling lips of
a smile. But old or young, we will view the face made in the image of God. It
is the image of who we are in God. The face God gazes upon and accepts and
loves without judgment. For God
includes, accepts, forgives, and loves each of us unconditionally, just as we
are—warts and all. All we can do is receive the gaze and share it with all
others. In doing so, God's way of loving us, if we allow it, becomes our model
for loving others. Thus, the Golden Rule calls for us to love others as we
allow God to love us, which in turn should lead to a chain reaction, fostering
a loving world.
Philosopher
Emmanuel Levinas said the only thing that really connects people at a deeper
level is seeing the face of the other. In his words, "If one could possess,
grasp, and know the other, it would not be other."
Coming
off an election cycle that fostered language from both sides of the aisle
devoid of any sense of love, compassion, or mercy—maybe it is time to pause and
ponder the gift of the Divine gaze. For we need to believe in it, celebrate it,
receive it, trust it, allow it, and then pass it on to those whom we see—allowing
ourselves to be open to new relationships and living in communion with those we
gaze upon and who gaze upon us. Or in the words that Jesus gave us: to do unto
others as we would have them do to us.
Look
into the face of another, and what do you see?
