Homily: Funeral of Derek DiGregorio

This morning our parish came together to mourn the passing of a dear friend, Derek DiGrgorio. Being diagnosed around the age of ten with Ataxia Telangiectasia, over half his life his ministry to others came from the position of sitting in a wheelchair. His gift – his blessing to me and to all those around him was teaching us how he faced adversity – how to take it head on…and with the grace of God, how we convert those challenges to advantages. In short - how we take our dis-ablements…our cracks and our wounds and to allow the light of Christ to shone forth from those cracks and on to others. 

Click here for the podcast of the homily

Click here for the text of the homily

 

Homily: Funeral of Sharon Knipper

 

This past Friday our family came together to celebrate the life of a dear wife, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter and friend – Sharon Knipper.  Her five-year battle with cancer ended and her new life with our risen Lord began. We will never forget the gift of love and life and compassion that Sharon gave each and every one of us…a gift, along with her contagious smile, that we will all continue to share with all those in our lives.

Click here for the podcast of the homily

Click here for the text of the homily

Homily: Funeral for Vincent Poloney

If I go back some twenty or so years, I remember our family and friends gathering back in my wife’s hometown for many weddings, baptisms, and other sacraments. But as time has moved on and age begins to creep up on our generation, it seems that recently we have gathered all too often to mourn the death of one of our loved ones.

And so, this afternoon we remember the life and the love of Vincent. And while Vincent was physically and emotionally dis-abled – when it came to love he had the capacity to be very ‘able’ indeed. Being in the season of Lent, while writing this homily, it gave me reason to pause and to believe that in some respect I think Vincent had an advantage over most, if not all of us. 

What was that advantage…and how did he impact the lives around him?  Check it out…

Click here for the text of the homily

Click here for the podcast of the homily

 

Homily: Funeral of Peter Poloney

On December 23, 2019, just after turning 93 years old, my father-in-law Peter Poloney died…joining with the Communion of Saints, with his beloved wife, Patricia, who died just months ago.  It is not uncommon for a couple who spent so many years together to die within months of one another…as it was with Peter.  So yesterday we laid Peter to rest – back at “home” with Patricia…together again to spend an eternity fishing, laughing and loving.

Their favorite past time of fishing reminded me of the passage from John, where Peter and his friends spend a day and evening fishing and catching nothing. With that, they received ‘fishing advice’ from the risen Jesus, who was on shore - advice which is actually key to all of us who continue to mourn the death of this beloved couple. See what I mean…


To listen to the podcast of the homily, click here

For a transcript of the homily, click here

Homily: Funeral for Patricia Poloney

I think one of hardest lessons we learn is that life and death always coexist. As was witnessed this past Friday when my mother-in-law’s 6th great-grandchild was born and by the end of the day her life in this world ended. Today, family and friends came together as mourned her death and celebrated her life in the Mass of the Resurrection. Privileged to preach at her funeral, listen to how in her final weeks she was able to open our eyes to what the Irish call the ‘thin places’ in life and the spiritual wisdom she left us to live by... 

For the text of the homily, click here

For the podcast of the Gospel and the homily, click here

Homily: The funeral of Fr. Don Pantle, SJ

Yesterday, we gathered at the same church where our friend and mentor, Fr. Don Pantle was baptized, received first communion, was confirmed, said his first mass as a newly ordained priest and this weekend was laid to rest.

He touched the lives of thousands of students at the University of Scranton over some 30 years through his unique ministry of food, cards and Eucharist which was brilliant, was Jesuit, and was incarnational.

A few years ago Don asked that I would preach the homily at his funeral and was honored and humbled to have fulfilled my commitment to him.  So take a few minutes and listen to why I feel Don made such a difference – and still does – in so many lives.

 

Click here to listen to the reading of the Gospel – the story of the Road to Emmaus

Click here to listen to the homily for Fr. Don Pantle

Click here to download the transcript of the homily

Click here to download Fr. Don’s recipe for spätzle and doughnuts!

Homily: Funeral for Judge Paul A. Kapalko

 

Yesterday I had the privilege of preaching at the funeral mass of a man I have known for 31 years, the Hon. Paul A. Kapalko.

 

Paul stayed in NJ throughout his life, earning his BA from Rutgers in '76 and his JD from Seton Hall School of Law in '79. After graduation he became a proud member of the Bar Assoc., joining the law firms of Lawson & Kapalko and Lawrence & Kapalko.

He entered local politics as an Asbury Park City Councilman in '85, serving until he was appointed to the NJ State Assembly in '89. He also served as the Manasquan Municipal Prosecutor; the Planning Board attorney for Neptune, Bradley Beach and Keyport; and the Commissioner of the Monmouth Co. Improvement Authority.

In '90 he became father to his eldest daughter, my niece, Casey, and in that same year ran for Congress. He lost the race, but two years later was appointed a Judge of the NJ Division of Worker's Compensation. He welcomed his second daughter, Christina, in '94, the same year he was promoted to Director and Chief Judge of Workers' Compensation. 

In '02 he was appointed by Gov. Donald DeFrancesco to the Family Division of the Superior Court of Monmouth County. He became the Presiding Judge in '04 and then transferred to the Civil Division in '07. He worked with a clear sense of justice and understanding, and was known for his ability to settle cases before ever needing to go to trial. Admired by his peers throughout his life, he dutifully served as a Superior Court Judge for 16 years.

He was a loving father, brother, and uncle. He was predeceased by his father and mother, Edward and Rose Kapalko of Asbury Park. He is survived by his daughter Casey and her wife Stephanie Vazquez, his daughter Christina, and their mother Mary Jo (nee Knipper) McKinley all of West Long Branch. Paul is also survived by his brother Gregory and his wife Cindy, as well as their children Jamie (Jeremy Glapion) and Eddie, all of Belmar. He will be missed dearly by not only his family, but also by all whose lives he touched. He will always be remembered as a fighter and as an inspiration to all.

 

Please click here for the text of the homily.

 

Purgatory

This past month my wife, Teresa, attended a funeral of one her Master Gardener friends.  After more than 15 years battling cancer, the good Lord called her home.  The funeral mass took place in my diocese, but not my parish.  Unable to attend myself, I called Teresa later that day to see how it all went.  Her quick reply was, “Be glad you were not there.”  The full conversation went something like this:

J: How bad could it have been?
T: Well the priest and the deacon were both wearing Roman vestments that were purple.
J: Purple?  You mean white, with a bit of purple trim?
T: I mean all purple, like Advent
J: Why?
T: Funny you should ask, as the priest made it central to his homily
J: Did what?
T: He said he was wearing purple to remind us that her soul is not in heaven yet, rather it is in Purgatory.  He went on to explain that this was a good thing since it meant that she was destined to heaven but is in Purgatory receiving the final cleansing…and since she is no longer able to advance her own cause, we who remain must pray for her soul.
J: (Deleting expletives for purposes of keeping this blog family friendly:) Really?  I mean Really?  I have yet to find a website that delineates the length of time, if any, in Purgatory based on our earthly lives!  I would love to be enlightened as to who gets more or less time: Clergy? Blogging Deacons? Sisters/Nuns? Divorced? Gay? A 60 year old lady who loved to garden, loved her family and friends and loved her God?
T: Oh no, I feel a new blog post being written…

While the good practice of praying for/to those who have died predates Christ, the naming of “Purgatory” as a place or state of “being cleansed” dates to c 1170 and formalized in the Councils of Florence (1431-1435) and Trent (1545-1563).  There are three paragraphs in the Catechism of the Catholic Church that outline the tradition of the Church as it relates to Purgatory. Nowhere does it state, obviously, where or how, or who, or certainly how long anyone goes to Purgatory. 

But I would assume based on what Jesus said on the cross to the criminal hanging next to him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." (Lk 23:43) that he was not going to be spending much time stopping off in Purgatory. The great Franciscan theologian John Duns Scotus (1256-1308) took the position that the final cleansing of the soul took place instantaneously upon death, after all God’s love is immeasurable and unconditional.  Rome never embraced his theological concept as whole.  Then again to have done so would have given God all the power, all the control and all the grace to forgive immediately and unconditionally.  Instead Rome, in the middle ages, favored the theology of time in Purgatory and its corresponding indulgences which supported their own egos and their own coffers.

So I am at a loss as to how one in 2012, preaching to a family who is mourning the death of their loved one, takes the position with words and colored vestments that her soul hasn’t made it to heaven yet.  He knows this?  By taking this homiletic action, the priest moved the focus of this Mass of the Resurrection away from God’s salvational action and focused on Church control.  This is simply another example of Catholic egos running rampant.  It is another example of some clergy, as well as the Church, stuck in what Richard Rohr, OFM. calls the first half of life. Stuck on building its ego. Stuck on power and control. Stuck on defining who they are by knocking down others.

Indeed, nothing wrong with praying for those who have died.  I, for one, am always looking for their graces and those of the entire Communion of Saints.  But my prayer today is that the Church will move in an opposite direction by shedding its ego and focusing on the risen Christ, who “holds all thing in unity…who reconciles all things through him and for him, everything in heaven and on earth” (Col 1:17, 19-20)  ...all without our help.  Imagine that.

And the purple vestments? They can stay in the closet till next Advent.